They said I couldn't get you
But I got you for myself
I got to know you better
better like anyone else

It took a lot understanding
it's been a devastating ride
But I patiently hung on
hoping for a better time

Because all you said you wanted
was a little love and peace
Your emotional responses
Slowly took the best of me

Self-injurious behavior
and some alcohol abuse
filled the chronic emptiness
for which you can find no excuse

Everyone has always
to live up to how you feel
But the way you're seeing things
is very different from what's real

It's persistant how inaccurate
your self-image has been
'cause from my point of view
you're the most gorgeous girl I've seen

But when you go in hiding
When you're lost I realize
That I know just where to find you
You'are dancing
on the borderline

You're no burden on my shoulders
but you've got to let me breathe
so stop fighting over things
based upon paranoid ideas

In the wake of my involvement
you're describing me as cruel
Your disassociative episodes
are harmful to me too

Social reasoning gets worse
when you're under all that stress
I don't know what you're expecting
from me when you're so depressed

But when you go in hiding
When you're lost I realize
That I know just where to find you
You'are dancing
on the borderline

Why do I deserve your anger
please don't take it out on me
I feel stuck in all your conflicts
between what you want and need

Now you're passing on the blame
who knows what you're thinking of
cause the child from years ago
doesn't know how to deal with love

I guess it's time to let it end
please don't let it be this way
In the meantime you'll pretend
that you're perfectly ok

But when you go in hiding
And you're lost I realize
That I'll know just where to find you
You'll be dancing
on the borderline

MOTIVATION

After the breakup and the encouragement of a friend of mine to start writing songs again I'd gotten a lot of ideas for songs. Most of them were about what I had to say to others, but one of them was this one, about what I actually went through myself the last months of the relationship I'd been trying to save for so long.

I did a lot of reading into why my fiancee was acting the way she was, because her reactions often were so out of the ordinary that it'd have to be something more than just irrationality. This song describes what it was really like for me to be with her, because reality in her eyes was not reality in real life. The actions by her mom and dad have left serious scars in her life and her well being and once they managed to make sure she'd no longer trust me there was no stable basis in our relationship anymore.

The first verses describe how no one said I'd be able to hook up with her, yet me hooking up with her how no one else had ever done before. Due to me getting so involved with her I got to hear and see things about her family and herself that were unknown to others.

I never wanted it to end, but I kinda had to. Her emotional stability had become such a part of my life that I was no longer able to breathe. Friends, family and collegues said how I was no longer my fun self. Before I could actually talk about it I received an e-mal saying it was over anyway, and I'd postponed the talk way too long, even though she always made sure there was some sort of reason she wasn't available. In her reality it was all my fault and she passed the blame on me yet when looking at the entire story and how I'd always, always been there for her and yet I achieved nothing due to her parents pretty much doing exactly those things she didn't need there was no way I could survive this. When we'd broken up I got to hear from her how I'd changed into someone else who just wasn't fun to be with, yet whenever I tried to be fun to be with she'd be very judgemental or just not able to deal with a fun person. I have my fun sides, I have my serious sides, but the serious side that tried to help and save her overtook my fun side.

EXPLANATION

"They said I couldn't get you"refers to people saying she was way out of my league after they'd seen her in a video. They all wished me good luck in trying to get her, but in the end the only one who really "got" her was me.

"The child from years ago" refers to how her mom and dad could always show a lot of love for their sons, but always just "accepted" their daughter. Their sons got all the extra attention and got away with things for which their daughter had to fight for. Birthdays of their sons were celebrated with lots of extra attention yet their own daughter had to make sure her parents kept the day off in case she'd like to throw a party. When their sons had their birthday, her mom couldn't wait to congratulate them, yet for her 21st birthday she didn't even receive a phonecall, all she got was "happy birthday" on Facebook.

"Dancing on the borderline" refers to how she'd hide her true self from me and me realizing how she was on the edge again, dancing and trying not to fall to either side, one side being happiness and the other being a heavy depression.