While you leave me standing here outside
Outside
While you leave me standing here outside
Standing here outside
While you leave me standing here outside
Outside
Outside
Outside
Outside
Outside
Why you leave me standing here outside?

MOTIVATION

After I'd written my bluesy song and knew I'd soon finish writing about her, I wanted to end it with something more, something deeper, something more explanatory than the few lines that made up the lyrics to Breakup Blues.

I wound up summarizing all that had been bothering me, but most of all, had hurt me with her behavior towards me. It soon became quite a lot of text, so I wound up editing things in my head before writing them down. I knew what the pattern would be, the song would lack a real chorus, which is different from the rather standard patterns out there.

Once I started playing the song, I felt it needed real sounds to it, no standard strumming, but more effects. I started doing the lead guitar and experienced with various patterns and licks before I was able to record what is currently on the recording. I know there are some small mistakes here and there, but it's done in one take, I think the third time I tried the entire solo I got it in one take. The vocals have been remixed, and build up from a threatening anger to a non understanding sadness about why things needed to be the way they were. It's a rather sad ending, but then again, every breakup is shit, like she once said.

I felt I had been very patient. 5 months of dating and several conversations during which she promised to be better, and yet she still didn't live up to what she promised, so I started to give up. Somewhere there was this girl I fell for, but this girl I fell for was very different to me compared to her friends. I can usually kind of "get" where someone's coming from, but I only ever got to see a glimpse of what could be, both for her, and me together. I felt sad after breaking up with her, because in a way I felt sorry for her. We seemed to click rather well, but halfway through it seemed as if she got scared and kept pulling back for no real reason but possible insecurities. I do hope she'll one day fall in love with someone, because despite everything, I wish her the best.

EXPLANATION

You dismiss the plans I've got refers to anytime I'd come up with an idea of things we could do together, only to then have them dismissed by her because I was either planning too far ahead, or it wasn't announced in time. It made me wonder if she actually wanted to be with me, despite me asking her several times, and her several times saying I wasn't an afterthought but always on her mind.

I started asking my friends, and eventually talked about it with her friends, who acknowledged that she wasn't handling things rather well, but simply because she was so insecure, and had no idea of how to deal with any attention like mine. Someone even said she'd never had a boyfriend who did something special for her, but I doubt she'll ever get one unless she opens up to him first. I certainly tried, went as far as trying to plan a birthday surprise party in Spain, but alas, it obviously all never happened.

I did like her first time I saw her. There were these small things that made me fall for her. Her little dance moves, her jokes regarding my at times bad English and the way her eyes lit up once she spoke about her brother. I still saw those things, but she stopped sharing them with me, which hurt and made me realize I couldn't get in anymore.

Eventually I had no idea of how to reach her. She seemed completely gone in her own world where everything had to go on her terms and her ideals, making it impossible to actually have a life together, in any possible way. It just made me realize that what she said to me was in no way how she acted to me, and I started wondering if she wanted a relationship in the first place, or was merely having one because of the people around her asking her "when she'd have one".